I hope you’re having a great day.
In my post today, first and foremost, I’d like to say that you all are super-women, performing the toughest & most amazing role the human body is capable of performing. You’re absolutely wonderful because you didn’t give priority to your bodies, careers or whatever not, for these few months or even years, during which you would take rebirth too but would still concentrate on selflessly providing all that you have, to your baby and its upbringing. Whoever said it’s going to be easy, is absolutely crazy or lying.
Now alongside, I’d like to give you all a reality check. Birthing, in itself is a bittersweet experience. On one hand, you would feel like you’re on your death bed ( we all have known how much pain a mother goes through while she is in labor) and on the other, nothing would have ever given you more joy in life, so much that since the time the moment the baby comes out, there is nothing more important for you anymore.
However, like they say, birthing is easy but there is no epidural for motherhood. My main aim of writing this is because before I had a baby, my family had painted a rosy picture for me. Where I would beautifully get pregnant 🤰, give birth and hand over the baby to the grandmothers to look after and wipe its bum and again be happily ever after with the hubby, go on solo trips and nights-out, just like before. I have forever been told (like in stereotypical indian families) that the grand-moms will handle everything. Not that I completely fell for it but well I was somewhere in the middle of believing and not believing it. A family is great support but bringing up a child is a mammoth task mainly the mother has to perform.
However, I’d not paint the same picture for you guys but a true-er version of it.No one, but you will have to handle the baby. Neither will you want to trust anyone completely in doing so.
- No one but you will have to wipe off the shit off the baby bum. No matter how much you try to run from it, eventually you’ll be the only one doing it. Accept the fact early.
- The hubby can only to an extent support you. If he has to commence working he needs his night’s sleep. That would just leave the two of you (you and your baby). No one will give up on their sleep schedules. You will have to work out how you manage to sneak in your naps by coordinating it with the baby’s.
- The baby will not sleep at nights or whenever you want them to sleep for the first few days. You have to show patience. You have to learn to survive on minimal sleeping hours. The baby is going to wake up/ make weird sounds, the moment you sleep for a minute. The baby will demand a nappy change and feed every 2 hrs even at nights. They need approximately 2 months, to adjust their biological clock according to the world’s.
- You would have to manage the baby despite of your sickness, stitches, ill-feeling, fatigue and whatever not. You must eat well and healthy to gather energy for doing so.
- People will be less understanding of your situation owing to the fact that the whole world is having babies and you’re not the only one, however; to you it would feel like you’re the most extraordinary human who has given birth to and is raising a baby. You do not want to explain your situation to the world. Conserve that energy to manage the baby.
- You might get into post-partum depression. It is common. I have gone through it. It is usually about how strongly you come out of it. Try to deliberately avoid the negative feeling. Use a poster in your room or anything else that reminds you to stay positive and calm and most of all to have patience as this too shall pass.
- At one point, you would hate everyone over the most petty issues. I hated my hubby for going out for lunch with his friends when I couldn’t 🤔.
- Do not have any expectations from anyone. If you’re having a baby thinking you’re going to hire a doula or because your hubby is super supportive, believe me you, no one can be the mother to a child. No matter what. The more you expect someone to help you the more you will get depressed about them not living upto your expectations. You obviously need help, ask for it but don’t expect someone to read your mind.
- You will keep getting criticised for why you’re not losing your pregnancy weight or how wrongly you’re handling your child from unnecessary and insensible people. You have to choose how you have to deal with those individuals and your body. Remember, you’re the boss. You’re the one in charge of yourself and your baby.
- You will keep getting forced advice from people who had a baby in 1937 and don’t remember a thing about bringing up a baby except from the old wives tales. You have to filter whom to listen to and what.
- You might not get so much “me-time” initially. It will obviously get better with time and you will be able to get back to your routine. Keep your aims and determination strong. Gradually start sneaking in time for yourself.
In the end I’d like to mention that everything will get sorted in a few months. You will become a pro with the baby. There will be nothing you will cherish more than the moments you spend with your baby. There would be no one who has ever loved you or whom you have ever loved more than the tiny human you made. There will come a point where you would even want to relive this stage. That’s how life evolves.Stay wonderful ladies.Xximage source: http://www.30seconds.com