A happy and positive childhood is the foundation of a successful future and a balanced life.
I can’t think of a single parent who would deliberately like to ruin their child’s personality or self esteem. Parenting, however, is a very demanding job, where we have our up and down times but still have to manage upbringing our children by putting our best foot forward.
Sometimes, we do not realise how or what we say something, that could harm or put and end to to our child’s positive demeanour.
Here, I have a list of actions that I consider to be hugely erroneous in terms of parenting-
1. Never must any parent make any comparisons with other children or persons in any manner. I have been an educator and learnt the negative effect this causes in children in turn making them frustrated and less contented, sometimes upto a much later stage in life. We must understand that each child is different and has distinct qualities and it is our job to work towards bringing out the best in our child.
2. Often, parents try to force upon the aspirations they had for themselves onto their children. We should respect the individuality of a child and polish it with our best efforts by encouraging the child to follow their own dreams rather than our unfulfilled ones.
3. Many times, parents say the right thing to the child but do so in public rather than in private. Children need to be guided about the right way to lead their lives but they also get humiliated if you do it in front of others. We must make sure that our relationship with the child is our private affair and our problems must be solved amongst ourselves rather than displaying them in public. This way they build trust in us and easily share their problems.
4. It is and will always be a universal fact that your children needs your time more than they needs anything else in the world. The time we must give our children should never take a backseat because of work, socialising or anything else, per se. We must prioritise that the shaping our children’s life is of outmost importance and everything else can be adjusted accordingly.
5. We should learn to trust our child. Even if we find out that they are being unfaithful, we must understand why they required to do so. We must never haphazardly jump to conclusions and try to build a rapport where the child feels comfortable in sharing their secrets/ problems with us. The only way to do so is to have open talks with the children by discussing each other’s problems and finding solutions to them together.
6. Demeaning what holds importance to a child can prove to be very hurtful and aggression causing. For example, sometimes a toy holds emotional value to a child but you might find it immature or a hobby which is very important for them but you might find it worthless. This leads to rowdy behaviour of the child. It causes a violent nature and lack of the ability to understand others in future. Always value your child’s emotional values and never belittle what is important for them.
7. Try least to argue/fight with the spouse or other family members in front of children. Kids lack the ability to judge the severity of a situation and this can cause the feeling of desolation or depression amongst children.
We love our children with all that we have and we must take all measures to make their childhood a joyous experience.